Monday, June 28, 2004 9:57 AM | Matthew Jeanes Okay, here's a great example of what happens when you let marketing people and PR people and branding mooks run amok. When commenting on a situation in which a Texas couple named their child ESPN, a spokesmen for the cable sports channel had this to say: ``And I guess there's no better testament than when someone names their child after your product. It just shows the bond we have with people.'' Yes, yes... there's no better testament to the power of a television sports channel's bond with people than the fact that they are willing to brand their own human child with the network's name! This kind of thing is not only sad and stupid for the child who will forever be associated with a tv network, but it also speaks volumes about the nature of the relationship that people have to brands in this media-enriched age. This poor kid (and at least two others with the same kind of dim-witted parents) will forever have a personal logo. I know from experience that seing something close to your name in logos everywhere (Jeanes/Jeans) is kind of weird, but I can only imagine the frustration of trying to become an individual, disassociated with a brand name as big and self-inflated as ESPN. How do we get to a point in our culture where the omnipresence of brands exerts itself in even the most personal and traditional of human rituals, that of naming a new born child? If you are still thinking that people aren't slaves to their televisions and brand names, ask Espn (pronouced "Espen") how he feels about it in a couple of years. {0} Comments Wednesday, June 09, 2004 4:36 PM | Matthew Jeanes The post office is going to be closed this Friday in observance of a "National Day of Mourning" for the passing of former President Reagan. This is insulting to me. For one thing, the man will have been dead and cold for a week by the time the "Day of Mourning" is observed. If it was really about MOURNING then it should have happened the day of or immediately after the news of his death. I was in Japan when the emperor died and let me tell you, that was some mourning! The whole country shut down IMMEDIATELY and stayed that way for about a week. Even for us Americans living on a US military base, all entertainment was cancelled, regular tv programming was cancelled, and there was a true sense of loss that permeated everything. While news of Reagan's death has upset some, given others fodder for political cartoons, and left others still unaffected, it is not something that warrants a national day of mourning. And for another thing, the post office is right up there with the bank in terms of the uselessness of its operating hours. It seems that post office locations are closed for more holidays than just about any other retail business. All of these holidays become an excuse for other retailers to have sales, to capitalize on people being out of work long enough for a trip to the mall or the shoe store. That's why holidays are conveniently observed on Mondays and Fridays. If the sentiment behind the holiday really meant something to us, we'd observe the days on fixed dates. Instead, local chambers of commerce and businesses all over lobby to have long weekends for shopping and general money spending. That's fine. It's more convenient for everyone, and with something like Labor Day which is designed to give workers a break, it makes sense. It just seems that when people can't tell if it's Labor Day or Memorial Day or Veteran's Day or President's day... something about making the day special is lost. Christmas is a good example. That mother is on Dec. 25th whether it means we get an extra day off from work or not; whether we have to go back to work the next day, or not. That, to me, makes more sense. I'm not going to debate Reagan's accomplishments and failures: he had some of both, as any President does. But we have President's day already, and that seems to take care of Reagan as well as Washington. I just don't like the idea of setting aside a day that will truly affect no one but some Federal Workers and probably just inspire more people to sell Reagan-related shit on ebay. {0} Comments Tuesday, June 01, 2004 10:21 AM | Matthew Jeanes Ten Things I Learned In Detroit There are no Vegan restaraunts in Detroit. We asked the PETA people, they said no. It is cheap to live in downtown Detroit, but no one wants to live there. People who commute from Canada to work in Detroit sometimes have to leave their lunch at the border. Windsor is on the other side of the river from Detroit, and could be the same city for all intents and purposes except that it has people and businesses and buildings that are occupied. It is almost impossible to get something to eat downtown after 3 PM on a Saturday. It IS impossible on Sunday. Greektown is the only part of Germantown that still seems to be alive, and that's probably only because of the Casino. The people mover only goes one way, and it is a prime example of too little, too late. People in Detroit are very nice--at least the ones who aren't trying to rob newspaper vending machines. Everywhere you go, you will be called 'hon' or 'sweets' and people are very helpful with directions and recommendations. The Free DEMF is an excuse to throw cool afterparties and charge lots of money. In Detroit,there is a brand new baseball stadium (Comerica Park) surrounded by vacant, decaying buildings that would be full of half-million dollar lofts and condos in Atlanta. The city is dirty and empty and dying and would make a great place to film a Batman movie because there would be almost no need to close streets to non-existing traffic. {0} Comments

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